Season 3 Ep 3 - Men can smell desperation

“I want him. Desperately. Even I simultaneously know that a lot of things I might want in life are not good choices.”- Sophie Kinsella 

Before I leave you all with this message, I wanted to thank you all for supporting me and listening to the podcast, its because of people like you that I continue recording and sharing my stories, hoping that it heals someone else knowing there are not alone, we all go through it, what matters is how we get through it. 

I know we had promised that X would drop us a visit before the year ends but sadly we can’t hold on to that promise, you will hear from him in the New year as season 3 continues. 

Subscribe on show link for more content. 

Transcript

Welcome to Season 3 of Unspoken truth this will be a journey of breaking generational curses, Spiritual ties, while we live in our purpose and to become one with our higher selves through breaking chains of poverty consciousness and understanding the power of attraction and always aiming to be better versions of ourselves and vibrating in our frequencies.

Join me on this journey of discovering unspoken truths and changing the narrative. 

This is from a woman who is just like you, A Mother, A Sister and A Daughter and Gods child, and in everything else in between I am still an individual riding the waves of Life I am Nita Terry Tee your host of Unspoken truth.

Before we get into our episode, I wanted to take the time to apologies as this episode had to come out earlier, I ended up being sick, the Vid got me and had to give myself some time to fully heal I am not 100% but I am more functional. Apologies my unspoken truth family. Let’s start 

Men can smell desperation

“Sometimes loneliness makes the loudest noise.”- Aaron Ben-Ze’ev 

It’s easy for us to be trapped in a cycle of wanting to be wanted or loved that in that process we directly or indirectly start wanting something real, something that feels whole because we are ready to settle down or parts of us feel that way. 

In that cycle you tend to start being desperate for love and you start seeking it either in the right places, but you end up attracting the wrong people in wrong places and you attract the same which is desperate men who are seeking a safe net and not love. 

Let me break this down, men can smell desperation from far making it easy for them to manipulate any situation and landing you in a one-sided relationship. Have you ever felt when you enter into a relationship you giving more than you getting in return, you call him more, you suggest dates, you the one person pushing the relationship forward cause you need it to work;

One from the fear of being lonely or two from wanting to be loved and at whatever cost, you tell yourself it’s okay it will work out, you start creating lies for his behaviour, you excuse his thereof leak of actions and your sacrifices blind you because you no longer put yourself first. 

Once men have figured out that you are in desperate need, they will tell you what you want to hear, they will feed on to your future narrative and drive the notion that they’re on the same ride with you so they can benefit from you in so many ways you could imagine.

These types of men will put you on a pedal stool and in reality you are just a pit stop while he prepares what truly matters. 

They know you won’t leave, they have psycho analysed you and see you fears and insecurities that start feeding of you and you start to lose a little of yourself each day. They will blame you for your assumptions and you will find yourself being always gaslighted so they stay in control of your every move, as long you on a leash your are their puppet you to do anything. You will do that anything because you’ve let loneliness take over and the need to be needed or loved that sense of desperation puts on in a much vulnerable state of emotional abuse and manipulation. 

We easily all have fallen into these traps because we have convinced ourselves that it feels right even if parts of it all are questionable. The red flags are when you slowly start turning from being his girlfriend to being his deputy mom/parent. Your concerns are his wellbeing everything he needs you quick to provide without question in your mind you create a narrative that you are doing it for the greater good or the relationship yet that greater good is one sided as you burn out and he flourishes.

The typical age we fall trap to these relationships are our mid-20s to late 20s around 23-29 cause hormones are around telling us the clock is ticking, society and family looking at you like you going to die alone with hundreds of cats. Once that pressure builds that’s the start of the desperation phase and you vulnerable and trying to subconsciously prove a point that you will find someone.

“Desperation can make a person do surprising things.”- Veronica Roth

Let me share my story

I met this guy in a circle of mutual friends, even after being warned to stay away, I just wouldn’t resist the charm and fell for the tricks. At that point of my life, I truly needed to be needed and loved trying to fill an emptiness of feeling lonely my body yarned to be fully loved, touched, appreciated, seen and affirmed. 

Even if they were red flags, I wouldn’t have noticed I wanted what I wanted and many of us have fell for that trap.

Every bunch of flowers he bought, every pickup after work, the efforts put in, I was blinded to notice that it wasn’t love, I was being fooled by things that didn’t even belong to him (his girlfriends stuff were also used on me too) meanwhile I thought I was the only one but we all desperately loved the same man who took from us,  I was just yet another little fish that got baited who would later also be his safe net. 

Let’s fast track, I had provided the comfort in this lifeless situationship, or so-called untitled relation, but because I needed to be needed it didn’t matter, I created the narrative that this was going to be something even if the pits of my stomach told me that you are fooling yourself, I held on to this hope that it just needed to work out. 

I clearly was desperate and lost the love and respect I had for myself, and we all easily fall in these traps of lifeless relationships/ should I say situationships just to fill in a void of loneliness and being terrified of your own silence. 

So I urge you my beautiful women to put yourselves first and always take note of red flags do not ignore what your intuition tells you, pay attention, because there parts of us that subconsciously yearn to be loved and we deserve the love we yearn but from the right people, though only with someone who is willing to be part of it and all in. 

Let’s not give into unnecessary pressures trying to please a man, in hopes of love and attention. Let’s be honest Love shouldn’t be so hard to receive, when it looks like a mission or becomes to hard its time to evaluate and especially when your sacrifices surpass his efforts of meeting you half way. 

And No you will not die alone, take your time to heal yourself, because like minded people attract like minded or vulnerable people, though when you put in the work I guarantee you that with time it will be all worth it. Be careful of the tricks and scrubs that are out there, love yourselves and always remember your worth and never sell yourself short for anything. Let the universe do the rest just relax and let everything you wish for in a relationship fall into its place. 

“I want him. Desperately. Even I simultaneously know that a lot of things I might want in life are not good choices.”- Sophie Kinsella 

Before I leave you all with this message, I wanted to thank you all for supporting me and listening to the podcast, its because of people like you that I continue recording and sharing my stories, hoping that it heals someone else knowing there are not alone, we all go through it, what matters is how we get through it. 

I know we had promised that X would drop us a visit before the year ends but sadly we can’t hold on to that promise, you will hear from him in the New year as season 3 continues. 

Follow me on Instagram and Subscribe on Spotify and Apple Podcast 

I am Nita Terry Tee your Host of unspoken truth 

Until the next episode remember, everything in life comes with Divine order, Divine timing and Divine presence always surrounded by Divine Spirit. Dear you, you going to be just fine. 

So to you all I thank you, Merry xmas and have yourselves are wonderful New year see you in 2023. Love & Light with just a little bit of fairy dust and unicorn hugs.

The end …